I can be better

I can be better

-Every Day – Every Moment – Every Time

Focusing on every aspect and facet of your life, continually tell yourself “I can be better”. Doing and being doesn’t negate the person that you are, or that your current actuality casts yourself as a lesser person. The reality of life is that if we are not progressing, we are digressing. In every moment we have an opportunity to become better. If you can try and view life as a function of cells and progress of evolution, then as each day goes by we are farther away from our beginning, and closer to our end. I’ve realized that this topic can be of some contention with people. I have discussed this topic with many people over the years and have found that those individuals that are “complacent” get offended by the suggestion that they “should” change. They take this as an insult on their person, rather than a challenge upon their potential. If as a parent I let my children be content with using their diapers, or complacent with their 2 and 4 year old vocabulary, I would be failing as a parent. I view life the same way one can view parenthood, but upon ourselves. Do not settle for being mediocre. Do not settle for being fat, lazy, unmotivated, unaccomplished person.

Just because you may not be where you want to be in life, doesn’t mean you can’t get there. Life is all about progress and passion. Believe in yourself that you CAN do great things and you will get there. The hardest part of any goal is the first step. In that first step you must gather up the courage, strength and belief in yourself that you CAN do it, you WILL do it, and you WANT it. Goals without actions are just dreams. Don’t be a dreamer, be a doer. So many people live their lives with a big dream book of hopes and changes. But the sad thing is that the majority of the world thinks like this. They expect life to be handed to them, luck to be created for them, or greatness to be placed in their lap. But, the thing is, our world does not judge you upon what you say you’ll do, but what you actually do. Don’t be a person that sets goals and fails and gives up. Be the person that sets goals and no matter how many times life knocks you down you get right back up. You push. You pull. And you adapt to make yourself the best possible version of yourself you can be. Can I tell you what the best YOU would be? Absolutely not. Only YOU can do that. Now believe in yourself that you CAN change. This is the second hardest step of achieving any goal: Comfort Level. Why do most people fail at losing weight? Why have I failed at staying in shape? Comfort level. We get so comfortable with who we are, that we can’t even fathom changing life. To achieve any goal we are going to have to CHANGE the way we view ourselves, our life and our world. I had lunch with a friend the other day and brought up the question: “Say your goal is to compete in a fitness competition, and you want to have rock hard abs, a great body etc. If I was to tell you everything you needed to do in order to achieve that goal, and guaranteed it, could you do it?”

The sad reality within our own persons is that most people can not say yes to that question. We are creatures of habit, and we like the way things have been. We like our lives, we love our food, we love our routine, we love our habits. But, it takes ONE thing to surpass our status quo: One Hope, One Desire, One Dream, One Goal that allows us to overcome the cycle we are currently in, and to transcend ourselves into the person we aim to be.

I am one of the most optimistic people you will ever meet, and this is not me being critical of life, or of persons. It’s that every day I aim to become better than I was the day before. I want to be healthier, I want to be more present to my family. The greatness of life is that YOU are in the drivers seat. You set your path. If you’re happy where you are in life, fantastic…be You. If you want to keep growing, progressing and developing, then don’t accept weakness or comfort as a sign of failure, but as a starting line for the race of your life.

Get going. Boom.

If you’ve been following my blog or Facebook for the past few years, you’ve seen me do some crazy challenges. As always, I aim to accomplish something huge, in hopes of inspiring others to believe in themselves to achieve great things in their lives. The NEW challenge is to do a TRIATHLON on May 22nd.  I have never done a Triathlon and can barely make it across a pool without grabbing a floaty. During my preparation for the triathlon, I will highlight the training, life changes, physical changes and my progress beginning Monday, January 18th.

I haven’t really been “active” and focused on exercise and health since my last health challenge from early 2014 (How to get in the best shape while being the busiest). So to say I’m a little out of shape or rusty is an understatement.  On top of an intense workout regime, I will be following a strict diet plan (which I’ll share). This challenge requires a total commitment, and I’m blessed to have my wife, Kelly, as my constant cheerleader.

I encourage you to head over to my Instagram page www.instagram.com/boom_motivation_coach. I’ll be updating that page throughout the week. As always, my Facebook page (www.facebook.com/backercharlie) will have tons of the updates, however, Facebook doesn’t really like to display public pages unless I pay.

I wrote earlier this month that I will focus on the Four Fs for 2016. Faith. Family. Fitness. Finances.

This challenge and training will not only push me in fitness, but it will help me to be a better husband, father, friend and worker. When you focus on improving an area of your life, like your health, it will have a direct impact upon your relationships and who you are as a person. I look forward to sharing my journey with you, and hope you’ll follow me a long. Thanks for tuning in…..BOOM!

The Four Fs for 2016

January 4, 2016 — Leave a comment
Every journey starts with a single step. Initiate your life.

Every journey starts with a single step. Initiate your life.

Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance.

I was leaving Church yesterday, and was thinking about all the “goals” I had for 2016. Some were easy, some were difficult, some were intense, others were simple. I was talking to my wife, Kelly, a few weeks ago about goals and resolutions. As one who has set some pretty lofty goals and atypical resolutions, I was GREAT at setting goals….but my success rate for achieving every goal was not as high as I would like. So, it got me thinking. This was the “ah ha” moment of 2015. Instead of focusing on what new resolutions to make for 2016, what if I went back and looked at goals and resolutions of the past and figured out why I failed. It’s an interesting thought to return to your failures and count your steps to figure out which left should have been a right, or vice versa.  So, that’s what I started doing. Though I had had the thought of “figuring out why I didn’t achieve goals in the past”, it didn’t really resonate with me until I was leaving Church. Instantly I saw my goals in the past grouped into four areas. I had the focus to not only create goals for 2016, but also priorities. Goals are typically something that has a finite end. For instance: l want to lose 15 pounds, well, once I hit that number, my goal is achieved. Priorities, on the other hand, have no end. So, I listed my top priorities in order of importance: Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance. We all have priorities in life, even if we don’t acknowledge them when we create goals.

Let me break down how you should try and see priorities vs goals in your daily life, and how each of the four fs impacts it, challenges it, and improves it.

One of my goals is to be a better parent. To do this I must first be present and active in my children’s lives. Right here we have the priorities of “Family” and “Fitness”. The family one is obvious, but fitness? If I don’t take care of myself physically, eat right etc, I won’t be as active in my children’s lives as much as I should be. Finance also plays a role in this goal. If I can’t pay the bills, my children don’t eat. As far as Faith? Faith is my rock when I’m scared, it’s my hope when I’m lost, it’s my strength when I’m weak..it holds me together.

Breaking down goals into priorities allows you to be successful where previously you may have failed. Let your priorities guide your daily actions, and your goals will be the sum of those actions. 

2016 will be focused upon the four f’s. I hope you’ll join me on this new journey, and I look forward to sharing, growing, and setting new heights with you!

First step is the hardest

Life happens whether you like it or not.

This post could have been titled many different ways: Are you a doer or a dreamer? Are you lazy or hard-working? Are you a prayer or a maker? It doesn’t matter how you spin what’s going on in your life, but how you react to it. Whether you’re having a bad day, a bad week or a bad year, life will continue to happen whether you like it or not.  When I meet with people to talk about their dreams and motivations, one thing I stress is that you cannot start listing your fears and worries. Because, in all reality, that list could go on forever. You will always find another thing to worry about, or another thing that can go wrong. I think I’m blessed that I’m an eternal optimist. Am I always happy? No. Am I always motivated? No. But I do believe that things happen for a reason and that good things will happen to good people. I believe that, as my son’s interpretation of the song from Annie goes, “the sun will come out tomarno.” But, just because I believe in optimism, it doesn’t mean I can simply sit in the corner and wait for great things to happen. Life happens, whether we like it or not, but we MUST be an active participant. We have a choice in every moment to be complacent or active in our life. We can choose to work out or sit on the couch. We can decide to look for a job or surf the internet. No matter what, life happens. So, even if you’re an optimist, life still happens. You decide how you react to the world and to life’s many challenges. So, I challenge you to stand up and fight to become the best you possibly can be. Can I promise there won’t be scary moments or hurdles? No. But I can promise that at the end of your day, as long as you give it your all, you can say “I did my best.”

Don’t let life happen, make it happen.

Be your best and believe you can achieve so much more.

Starting

Today is a great day. I found millions of dollars in my bank account, everyone I cared for was perfectly healthy and happy, and I had no worries in the world. HA. Then I actually woke up. Life isn’t always roses and happiness. I have heard many people say, “Life isn’t fair.” I never understood why anyone would say this, until I found myself muttering it. “Life isn’t fair.” The more I thought about it, I realized that LIFE isn’t “fair.” But what does fair mean? Does fair mean equal to another’s struggles and strengths? It’s easy to look into our lives and see all the faults, failings, struggles and shortcomings, but when we look out to the world, we don’t always recognize it. We can flip through the channels on the tv and see starving children in impoverished countries, or read about the sick stories of Holocaust in history books. But do we allow this to change our view of “fairness?” Fairness, and life, are not all measured with the same tool. We have some people who are born into money, others who work hard to simply make it to the next meal. We have those are born with great genetics and will always have toned muscles and great complexion, yet we have those born without limbs. Life isn’t fair. But, the interesting thing is, life isn’t fair for ANYONE. Everyone, white, black, pink, or purple, was born into this world with the same potential as the next person: to be the best that THEY can possibly be with what they’ve been given.

I know for a fact that I will never be an Albert Einstein, outside of the fact that I hate math, I have no desire to do what he did. What we need to do is stop comparing our lives, or shortcomings, and start appreciating the blessings we have that make us unique. While life is not fair, that doesn’t mean we can’t make it great. We all have the potential every day to be the best possible version of ourselves if we just try. Try to be your best and let the world deal with the rest. The next time you find yourself thinking “well, this just isn’t fair,” think about HOW can I attack this moment to be the best version of ME in this situation?

Life is manageable. Life is manageable. Life IS manageable. I’ve repeated this phrase a lot over the past couple of weeks, trying to convince myself that each simple mistake or todo chore wasn’t as colossal as I thought.  It’s easy to feel as though the problems you have going on in your life are crazy, intense, world-ending, etc. But the reality is, when we are under tremendous stress, life seems to be a continuous uphill battle. My mother passed away on May 5th after a nearly 3 year fight with cancer. The time leading up to her passing, plus the subsequent time for grieving afterwards left me wondering, how can one go on? Simple tasks like household chores or chatting with friends, almost everything seemed like an arduous task that took all of my energy to complete. In the midst of this transition and grieving, I was at my Mom’s memorial mass and a good priest friend of mine said something in his homily that still speaks to me. He said “It’s okay, not to be okay.” This whole time I’ve been trying to “rationalize” my feelings and thoughts, but the reality was that I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t “fine”. I was grieving, and that’s okay. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad, or angry or emotional or happy. But, through it all, I realized “It’s okay not to be okay,” and in doing that, I came to understand that life is manageable. When one is dealing with a terrible loss, of course there are going to be changes felt, voids that need to be filled and habits that must change. But, when we are stressed or anxious, even the simplest of chores become tasks of monumental proportions. I began to tell myself that life is manageable. I began to have faith that everything happens for a reason. I had to come back to my old writings and remind myself that there is greatness in each and every person. And, no matter what is going on in one’s life, whether it is great or terrible, life does go on. The moon will come up in the evening, and the sun will rise in the morning. While we may want or try to have everything figured out, life happens, and it’s unpredictable and amazing. Sometimes we need to take life one day at a time, or even one moment at a time. But, just realize that each moment, each breath, each sunset, is another step forward on the awesome path of life that we are blessed to share.

My advice? “It’s okay, to not be okay.”

In life, we are confronted daily with choices. Each choice lends itself to a new set of other choices or opportunities. We may turn left at some forks, right at others, but through it all, we are progressing in life towards some inevitable end. Some may be as simple as what we are going to eat for lunch, but others can be much greater. How much focus do we place upon our choices in life?

Lately I have been struggling with fear. I’ve actually come to realize that when waking up each morning, by the time I’m in the shower, fear has already entered my mind. What does this mean? What instills fear in our minds at such an early hour? Change. Life does not like change, nor does our mind encourage it. When our bodies or minds anticipate great change happening or occurring, they freeze up in hopes of stopping whatever is going on. This is fear.

When making decisions and choices on the path of life, fear will creep in and try to get you to stop. And if you’re trying to do something very different, expect fear to attempt and knock you off that horse your riding.

So, what can we do to avoid fear? Run. Run for your goals. Run for your GREATER life. Do not embrace fear as though it’s a friend that deserves your time. Fear is a TIME thief. It has no purpose but to STOP you from reaching your goals and true potential. If you know the “WHY” in your goals, then FEAR has no place in your life. Commit to the person you want to become, and knock down every detour, obstacle or scary thought that jumps in your way. Will you be able to avoid fear? No. But, without fear we wouldn’t actually find worth in what we are doing. Fear, while not your friend, is validation that you are doing something different.

It’s okay to be afraid of change. It’s okay to think at times that your goals are impossible, but realize that these are only thoughts. Fear is only a passing feeling. At times I’ve forgotten how terrible fear is, only to be held hostage by its empty threats, terrible scenarios, and outlandish words. Don’t forget fear. Fight it. Don’t forget your purpose…declare it. We are made to be so much greater than we currently are. Have faith that things can get better, and trust in the path in which you travel to reach your true purpose. Boom.

When you set goals for yourself, you have an idea of where you want to end up, or what you want to do. But the thing is, if you don’t have a “why” for your goals, you’ll never be successful. I can say that I want to have a six-pack or a million dollars in my bank account, but unless I have a reason, those dreams will always stay in my mind. A “why” allows ourselves to push our minds beyond their typical limits, and to conceive a reality that is far greater and achievable than our current way. A why helps when you struggle with motivation or question what you’re doing; it helps you to remember the REASON you are doing what you’re doing. Whether you want to get in shape to be a better, more healthy father or you want to wake up earlier so you can achieve more things, whatever the WHY may be, write it down…and be able to go back to it. No matter what your goal or dream may be, you will have troubles, you will have struggles, and you may want to give up. So, anticipate this. With any NEW change to your life, your body and mind will push back because it’s uncomfortable. So before you start your path towards your goals or dreams, write down clearly your WHY. And in case the day arises that you find yourself struggling to carry on, look back and say, “THIS is WHY I’m doing what I’m doing.”

Achieving your goals and dreams requires sacrifice and total commitment. You can’t avoid the struggles of life, but you can prepare and strengthen yourself.

Push each and everyday to become the best version of yourself, and on those days that you feel like giving up, look back and REMIND yourself WHY you are doing what you’re doing.

Every journey starts with a single step. Initiate your life.

Every goal begins with a single step. Initiate your life.

I’ve spoken previously about the different levels needed to achieve a goal. You need to be passionate about what you’re doing, you need to have motivation, and you need to have a plan. All three of those things help to push, carry, and pull your goal through the cliffs of life’s challenges. But the question remains: if one has motivation, passion and a plan, don’t they have everything they need to be successful? The short answer: No.

            In life, whether we are talking about goals or about doing chores around the house, the task at hand is simple: get something done. I have 30 resolutions for this year and have been working at them nearly every day. But an interesting struggle arose with regards to a few of them, and I had to reevaluate. I have the motivation. I have a plan, and it’s something I’m passionate about, but yet, no action. What gives Charlie?

You can tell yourself time and time again that you’re going to read a book. You can set the time aside, find a book you’re really interested in, and still, not read. Why? Well, because there seems to be a barrier in our minds that stops us from acting upon our goals. It’s one thing to dream about doing something. It’s a completely different thing to actually do it. So, how do we overcome this hurdle? You jump. Jump right into your goals. I once read somewhere when waking up early that you should just jump out of bed as your alarm goes off, and start working on your goals before your mind has a chance to stop you.

            We can be our best cheerleaders or worst blockers for our goals. The focus on achieving goals is to overcome the hurdles WE place in our path so that we can jump over the hurdles that life places down the road. Reading a book isn’t difficult. Waking up early isn’t impossible. So don’t let YOURSELF limit YOUR potential. You were born to be great, now do it.

The gap between your dreams and your current reality is not huge.

The gap between your dreams and your current reality is not huge.

If you had a goal in mind, would you do whatever it takes to accomplish it? Further, if I could tell you right now what YOU needed to do to achieve that goal, would you or could you do it? You would like to say ‘yes, of course’, but the sad reality is that many people choose ‘no’. We get so comfortable being how we are, that we are not even able to conceptualize life being different, let alone enact changes to make it greater. That gap between reality and dreams is not huge. Our mind may want us to think that, but it’s not. However, in that gap it holds everything we are afraid of: our fears, our past failings, our future failings, and our honest comfort with life as it is.

Take for example losing weight: If you want to lose weight, the solution is simple. But, why are so many people out of shape? Why are there fitness clubs nearly every five blocks? Why is there always a new ‘secret’ diet plan or fat shredding workout? It’s because people sometimes need to exit their realm in order to pursue their dreams. People need to leave their houses and workout at a gym. People need to distance themselves from those parts of themselves they’re striving to improve. Until you break the cycle and get uncomfortable, you’ll never change, you’ll never improve and you won’t have ANYONE to blame but yourself. So, take charge of yourself and your life, and make your dreams and goals a reality. Show the world that it IS possible.